I lead a fairly sheltered life. On purpose.
I go to church, Walmart, Sam’s Club, the Christian bookstore, clothing stores, the library, and restaurants. I’ve seen around seven movies in the theater in the last 15 years or so (one of which was Veggie Tales’ Jonah), I catch most of my news from Facebook, and cast an occasional glance at the Fox News website. I homeschool our kids and spend most of my time with my family. I don’t watch TV, and aside from Duck Dynasty and Downton Abbey, I don’t even know what shows are popular.
Maybe you think I’m the most boring person you’ve ever encountered.
Or worse, maybe you think I mean for the above paragraph to be a road map to righteousness or that I think you will burn if you watch a British drama or whatever Duck Dynasty is.
But trust me when I say that I try to be — I have to be–careful and not set before my eyes any worthless thing (Psalm 101:3). This is my way of reining in my errant thoughts which are still in recovery from my younger years. Psalm 19:14 has been my prayer for a long time:
Let the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
However, the past few days my sheltered self has read some of Matt Walsh’s blog posts and I have felt as though I have been dragged through a sewer. The one in hell.
Not because of Matt’s posts, of course. I want to write like him when I grow up. No, I have been completely disgusted and disheartened by the wickedness of many of the comments posted by purported human beings. Such incomprehensible evil spews forth as they pathetically defend their “right” to have sex with whomever whenever they choose, their “right” to free birth control, and, if that should fail, then their “right” to kill whatever children result from their immoral behavior.
As one who spent a few years in front of an abortion clinic trying to convince parents not to kill their children (as if one should have to tell someone this), I am fully aware that babies are aborted–that parents do, indeed, pay butchers to exterminate their very own tiny and defenseless flesh and blood. I know it happens. I can type those words. But I cannot grasp the reality of it. The insanity of it. The wretched, despicable evil of it.
My heart hurts because of such evil. My mind aches with the processing of it. My soul yearns to be free from it. But I assure you it is not because my heart and soul are good on their own. I assure you that it is not because my mind is pure where never an evil thought enters.
My heart hurts and my mind aches and my soul yearns because my Savior lives in me and He hurts and aches and yearns. My perfect, holy Savior grieves this evil. He weeps over every lost soul that mocks and boasts and flaunts its degradation.
Truly, burning indignation has seized me because of the wicked, who forsake Your law. (Psalm 119:53)
So what do I do? How do I live here on this increasingly insane planet among such horrid, repulsive wickedness?
Can You please just stop this thing and let me get off?
I feel Him whisper: Read the next verses.
Your statutes are my songs
In the house of my pilgrimage.
O Lord, I remember Your name in the night,
And keep Your law.
This has become mine,
That I observe Your precepts.
The Lord is my portion;
I have promised to keep Your words.
I sought Your favor with all my heart;
Be gracious to me according to Your word.
Yes, Lord, I will–I do–rejoice in Your law. Yes, Lord, Your rules are my song of rejoicing, for I know they are right. It is only because You have written Your precepts deep in my heart that my redeemed but prone-to-sin self is able to even recognize evil. The very presence of such smothering, repressive darkness reminds me that You are wondrous, liberating light. And I know again how very much we–I–need You.
Because You are my portion–exactly what I need–I can live joyously in this age. You will empower me to walk victoriously among the lions as Daniel, to live righteously no matter what others do, and to exalt your Name that is above all names.
Yes, Lord, I have sought Your favor and You have been undeservedly and unbelievably gracious to me.
Lord Jesus, make me bold in spirit and strong of heart and serene of soul. But never let me fail to weep over what makes You weep and grieve over what grieves You. Shelter my soul, but never, ever let me be so perfectly satisfied with here that I cease to yearn for perfection in Your presence.
Jesus, remind me continually that someday You are indeed going to “stop this thing” and I am going to get off. That someday every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that You are LORD. That the mocker and the boaster and the scoffer will eat their vicious words as they bow before the Living Word.
Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Revelation 22:12-13
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
Janice Powell 2014
Scripture taken from the NASB.