Motherhood: Lord, I Lay Me Down

I’ve been a mom for nearly 26 years. I birthed seven babies, and I’ve homeschooled them for 16 years. I’ve doctored them, comforted them, cheered them. I’ve bought their clothes, changed their clothes, washed their clothes, washed their hair, cut their hair, fixed their hair. I’ve read a million books to them, cooked a million meals for them, prayed a million prayers for them, hugged them, tickled them, disciplined them. I’ve carried them, dragged them, drove them, chased them, watched them, laughed with them, laughed at them, cried with them, and cried because of them.

Even so, God is still teaching me what it means to lay down my life for these people he has entrusted to me.

For I find myself being tugged away from them, urged to do my own thing, to spend less time with them. I recognize this tugging, this pulling in the opposite direction of where God wants me to go. And it can only mean that I need to run toward them more. Toward Him more. Because there is a very real enemy who so desires to thwart our efforts to pour Jesus into their hearts and minds and souls.

So I have a choice, every moment of every day. I can disconnect and just let them grow up, as is tempting (and regrettably, what I’ve done sometimes) when I’m tired or frustrated or overwhelmed or tired. Did I mention tired? And I don’t mean just physically.

Or I can lay down my life each moment and purposely raise them up. I can, in God’s strength, do the thing that needs to be done in the moment, even in those moments I am tired and frustrated and exceedingly selfish. Especially then.

So I pray. God, help me lay myself down. Help me focus on the moment and do what I should do for that moment. Help me purposely and sacrificially sow into my children. Help me know that my surrendered life is a seed sown in love and faithfulness that You will cause to flourish in Your kingdom. For this generation and those that follow. For now and for eternity.

Finally, continue to help me understand and wholeheartedly appreciate this divine gravity, this hallowed calling of Mother. May I never, ever, not for one millisecond, take it for granted or cast it aside or sacrifice it on the altar of self. For it is far too precious.

 

Janice Powell 2014

 

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